Integral Assessment & Loving Kindness

I read the integral assessment chapter and with a million things already going on in my mind, I did my best to retain any information.  But basically, what I got out of the assessment after doing the Loving Kindness mediation (which I was not really a fan of already), I believe I am supposed to asses myself and recognize my strengths and weaknesses and build upon that and make them both better. Right? 

I didn't really discover anything new about myself while doing this meditation and the assessment.  But, what I was able to take out of this, is that right now I am going through several important events coming up.  And, I was able to focus and have positive thoughts about myself, what I do well, and what I will do well.  I guess it was more like positive reinforcement because I was able to visualize myself doing a really good job.  

I was able to do this because the exercise asked that I put myself in a relaxed and safe place and then to repeat phrases which basically was asking to relieve suffering from others, wishing good health among others, and happiness and wholeness.  Although I was able to chant the words, I wasn't specifically wishing these things among certain people.  So, in a sense I was wishing it upon people I don't know,  Which is odd to me.  Which is why my mind was wondering and I was still fighting thoughts about myself and preparing for this camp I have to go to.  Perhaps this exercise would have been more beneficial if I was wishing good health upon people whom I know and love.  Like my family.  This would have been more realistic to me and would have been genuine.  Otherwise, I felt like I was just saying words.  So, I guess again, I just really couldn't get into it.  Again, I have a lot going on and some important events coming up.  Maybe after these events have passed I can try this again and maybe more whole heartily.